(no subject)

I'm not real prone to sentimentality: I do what I do, and that's the way things are. And sometimes shit happens and we can do something about it and other times shit happens and we can't do anything about it. Hell, it's a big universe out there but I know enough to know all I can take responsibility for is my little corner of it.

So I'm making myself a pledge.

I'm going to do right by Beth. For as long as she'll let me and I'm not idealistic enough to believe that it will be a forever thing but hey. Circumstances can always prove me wrong and in this case I'd probably be glad.

I always expected to die young. How many people in the Syndicate make it to Mao's age? Not a hell of a lot. We're the pawns, the expendables. I'm not naive enough to think it happens any differently. And shit, Mao was protected and Vicious got to him so damn easily, slit his throat like he was nothing. He's a bastard, Vicious. I'm not sorry I killed him on some levels.

On others, I am. We were like brothers at one point... at least in my mind. I doubt he was thinking along those lines. A little more cutthroat than me.

A lot.

A fuck of a lot.

He had to die, and I had to be the one to do it.

Shit.