![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jul. 8th, 2005 12:46 pmShe's falling, and it seems like it's taking forever. Like it's happening in slow motion, like I should have all the time in the world to be at her side, to take that bullet for her, to keep her alive. If I could just get there from here... and her eyes, wide with fright, with fear... and too late, I'm too late by her side. Too late, and she dies.
And then it happens again.
It happens again and again and again, when it has no business happening again. But still it does, over and over.
"JULIA!"
He sits up, heart racing, lost in the past, and it takes him a minute or two to remember where he is and what's going on and...
Fuck. Let it go, let it go. There's nothing you could have done. In the near-darkness he reaches out and touches Beth so very lightly; she's sleeping peacefully and all he wants is to know she's there. Not to wake her up, but just to know.
Slowly, slowly, his heartbeat normalizes: she's like some saving grace, some bit of redemption, some angel who by her simple presence lets him understand in the core of his soul that things are okay.
Don't wake up, Beth, don't wake up. I don't want this shit touching you. Because if Julia and my past are the worst of the dark part of night, you're the absolute best of the light of day.
He'll never tell Beth about the nightmares.
Never.
And then it happens again.
It happens again and again and again, when it has no business happening again. But still it does, over and over.
"JULIA!"
He sits up, heart racing, lost in the past, and it takes him a minute or two to remember where he is and what's going on and...
Fuck. Let it go, let it go. There's nothing you could have done. In the near-darkness he reaches out and touches Beth so very lightly; she's sleeping peacefully and all he wants is to know she's there. Not to wake her up, but just to know.
Slowly, slowly, his heartbeat normalizes: she's like some saving grace, some bit of redemption, some angel who by her simple presence lets him understand in the core of his soul that things are okay.
Don't wake up, Beth, don't wake up. I don't want this shit touching you. Because if Julia and my past are the worst of the dark part of night, you're the absolute best of the light of day.
He'll never tell Beth about the nightmares.
Never.
