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Leaving Venus
Jan. 2nd, 2006 02:33 pmFuck.
Middle of the night Spike sits up sharply, a million, two million thoughts racing through his brain. Everything from goddamn ribs to do I have to quit smoking now? to what if something goes wrong to shut up, brain, this is your last night on Venus. What he thinks about most, though, is his friend Annie. She was like a surrogate mother to him after he got picked up by the Dragons. It was Annie who pulled him aside one day when he was just sixteen and gave him the best words of advice he'd ever heard: if you sleep with girls, Spike, they have a tendency to get pregnant. Be careful.
He's always been careful about that; he knows Beth isn't lying about this not being his fault or his doing. And he's not a stranger to the concept of the woman he loves sleeping with someone else. Hell, he walked in on Julia and Vicious, and that was after. Long after.
Different circumstances. Different lifetime. Different dream.
What he can't figure, no matter how many ways he puzzles out the pieces, is exactly what Beth must be thinking. It got too tiring to talk about and so they went and took that long soak in the hot tub. Took it a little easy because of his ribs, and it was probably smarter that way. Hell, when they get to Mars, he's going to see Doc too.
Come on, heart. Stop racing.
All of a sudden, though, it feels like there's a lot of responsibility around the corner. It doesn't frighten him: he's always said he'd do anything for Beth and he meant it then and he still means it. He just never figured on a baby.
Hell, if he could learn to get along with Faye -- and he did -- this can't be that much harder. Still, he'd be lying to himself if he went around pretending it was what he had in mind.
Life throws out curveballs. You either adapt or get hit.
Lying back down again and to hell with broken ribs, he wraps his arms around Beth. Usually in the middle of the night he tries hard as hell not to wake her up but tonight... tonight he needs to hold her. He needs her to hold him back.
He needs to tell her and show her how much he loves her. No matter what, he loves her.
Middle of the night Spike sits up sharply, a million, two million thoughts racing through his brain. Everything from goddamn ribs to do I have to quit smoking now? to what if something goes wrong to shut up, brain, this is your last night on Venus. What he thinks about most, though, is his friend Annie. She was like a surrogate mother to him after he got picked up by the Dragons. It was Annie who pulled him aside one day when he was just sixteen and gave him the best words of advice he'd ever heard: if you sleep with girls, Spike, they have a tendency to get pregnant. Be careful.
He's always been careful about that; he knows Beth isn't lying about this not being his fault or his doing. And he's not a stranger to the concept of the woman he loves sleeping with someone else. Hell, he walked in on Julia and Vicious, and that was after. Long after.
Different circumstances. Different lifetime. Different dream.
What he can't figure, no matter how many ways he puzzles out the pieces, is exactly what Beth must be thinking. It got too tiring to talk about and so they went and took that long soak in the hot tub. Took it a little easy because of his ribs, and it was probably smarter that way. Hell, when they get to Mars, he's going to see Doc too.
Come on, heart. Stop racing.
All of a sudden, though, it feels like there's a lot of responsibility around the corner. It doesn't frighten him: he's always said he'd do anything for Beth and he meant it then and he still means it. He just never figured on a baby.
Hell, if he could learn to get along with Faye -- and he did -- this can't be that much harder. Still, he'd be lying to himself if he went around pretending it was what he had in mind.
Life throws out curveballs. You either adapt or get hit.
Lying back down again and to hell with broken ribs, he wraps his arms around Beth. Usually in the middle of the night he tries hard as hell not to wake her up but tonight... tonight he needs to hold her. He needs her to hold him back.
He needs to tell her and show her how much he loves her. No matter what, he loves her.
