![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 15th, 2006 01:54 pmYup.
He can definitely feel it now: his hands know her body as well as they know his own at this point and it's just recently he's been able to tell she's getting bigger.
Fuck. There's a baby in there.
It isn't moving or any of that shit, at least not so he can feel it. No kicks, no squirming, none of the crap that book says comes later. But he can tell, and he's taken to sleeping with his hand on her belly just because. It isn't like he's eager for feeling the baby move or anything but still: he wants Beth Junior in there to know his hand, the way it feels, the way it warms his mom's skin.
Or her mom's skin. It could be a girl.
At least they know it's only one. When he stops to think into the future, he really can't fucking imagine what it will be like adding a kid to the mix. But he knows he loves Beth enough to make whatever happens be okay. The concept of helping be responsible for a new life... hell, that's pretty goddamn daunting. I swear to you right here and now, Beth and Beth Junior, I'll be a fuck of a lot better at it than my dad. I promise.
So far, he's kept his promises.
And I love your mom. I love her something fierce, with this depth I never knew I was capable of. So if I never manage to teach you another thing your whole life, you've got to learn that. She's everything. Everything, and I love her, and I'll try really hard not to fuck things up for either of you.
I love her. You got it?
There's no answering movement from Beth's womb, and Spike knows he can't really send the baby those thoughts. But he can sure as hell try. In the darkness, Beth moves a little, resting her hand over his before her arm goes around his waist.
In the darkness, he kisses her. And in the darkness, he holds her. And in the darkness, he thinks about the future and about kids and about Beth and about this place and about out there and about his own childhood: he thinks about all of it.
Mostly, he thinks how great it would be if this kid could maintain some sense of innocence and joy about things for a long, long time.
But hell, it's still a long way off. He kisses Beth again, just because.
He can definitely feel it now: his hands know her body as well as they know his own at this point and it's just recently he's been able to tell she's getting bigger.
Fuck. There's a baby in there.
It isn't moving or any of that shit, at least not so he can feel it. No kicks, no squirming, none of the crap that book says comes later. But he can tell, and he's taken to sleeping with his hand on her belly just because. It isn't like he's eager for feeling the baby move or anything but still: he wants Beth Junior in there to know his hand, the way it feels, the way it warms his mom's skin.
Or her mom's skin. It could be a girl.
At least they know it's only one. When he stops to think into the future, he really can't fucking imagine what it will be like adding a kid to the mix. But he knows he loves Beth enough to make whatever happens be okay. The concept of helping be responsible for a new life... hell, that's pretty goddamn daunting. I swear to you right here and now, Beth and Beth Junior, I'll be a fuck of a lot better at it than my dad. I promise.
So far, he's kept his promises.
And I love your mom. I love her something fierce, with this depth I never knew I was capable of. So if I never manage to teach you another thing your whole life, you've got to learn that. She's everything. Everything, and I love her, and I'll try really hard not to fuck things up for either of you.
I love her. You got it?
There's no answering movement from Beth's womb, and Spike knows he can't really send the baby those thoughts. But he can sure as hell try. In the darkness, Beth moves a little, resting her hand over his before her arm goes around his waist.
In the darkness, he kisses her. And in the darkness, he holds her. And in the darkness, he thinks about the future and about kids and about Beth and about this place and about out there and about his own childhood: he thinks about all of it.
Mostly, he thinks how great it would be if this kid could maintain some sense of innocence and joy about things for a long, long time.
But hell, it's still a long way off. He kisses Beth again, just because.
