How many times over the years has he had that thought? And how many times has he equated that thought with this desperate nihilistic feeling that nothing's really real so none of it matters? That it's all just an exercise in futility until death finally wins and carries people away into the dark?
The answer is way too many. Way too fucking many and now he sees that thought in a whole different light: hell yeah, it's like living in a dream. One of those good dreams, one of those fantastic fantasies where wishes come true and people go off into the sunset and live happily ever after. He doesn't know that anything like that's going to happen, but hell, it's a dream. He can imagine any damn thing he wants.
The smile on his own face is soft; he can feel it. "You know, Beth, I never thought doing things like this would actually make me happy. I always figured happiness to be... oh, some elusive thing for other people. Not for me. It's like that concept was so far out of reach, I didn't deserve to even think it. Kind of that whole live fast, die young thing and I was thinking earlier I don't know why I'm still alive -- some damn miracle or other -- but I sure as hell love you and Beth Junior. I don't think there's a single thing in my life that's ever meant as much to me as the two of you."
It's a good time to be sentimental: little Beth can get the gist of what he's saying without needing to understand the words, and Beth... well, she deserves to hear it. She's the reason he's here, the reason he fought his way back, the reason he wakes up able to smile.
Beth Junior's busy almost staring at the plush frog; her eyes look like they're going in and out of focus.
"And you, little one: you're only allowed to be this adorable with us right now. I don't want some boy baby coming up and putting the moves on you."
Looking over at Beth, he winks. Even if the baby doesn't smile on demand quite yet, it's a hell of a moment they're all sharing.
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How many times over the years has he had that thought? And how many times has he equated that thought with this desperate nihilistic feeling that nothing's really real so none of it matters? That it's all just an exercise in futility until death finally wins and carries people away into the dark?
The answer is way too many. Way too fucking many and now he sees that thought in a whole different light: hell yeah, it's like living in a dream. One of those good dreams, one of those fantastic fantasies where wishes come true and people go off into the sunset and live happily ever after. He doesn't know that anything like that's going to happen, but hell, it's a dream. He can imagine any damn thing he wants.
The smile on his own face is soft; he can feel it. "You know, Beth, I never thought doing things like this would actually make me happy. I always figured happiness to be... oh, some elusive thing for other people. Not for me. It's like that concept was so far out of reach, I didn't deserve to even think it. Kind of that whole live fast, die young thing and I was thinking earlier I don't know why I'm still alive -- some damn miracle or other -- but I sure as hell love you and Beth Junior. I don't think there's a single thing in my life that's ever meant as much to me as the two of you."
It's a good time to be sentimental: little Beth can get the gist of what he's saying without needing to understand the words, and Beth... well, she deserves to hear it. She's the reason he's here, the reason he fought his way back, the reason he wakes up able to smile.
Beth Junior's busy almost staring at the plush frog; her eyes look like they're going in and out of focus.
"And you, little one: you're only allowed to be this adorable with us right now. I don't want some boy baby coming up and putting the moves on you."
Looking over at Beth, he winks. Even if the baby doesn't smile on demand quite yet, it's a hell of a moment they're all sharing.