not_that_spike

"We don't charge rent. The rooms float about the Underside, lost and forgotten, and they're quite easy for us to attach to the House. All that we ask in return is that you keep your rooms in order and help us protect the House. Milliways is not the safest of places, and occasionally that can trickle down to us. We'll do whatever we must to keep the House and its residents safe, and as long as you're willing to follow the rules regarding guests, you're more than welcome to join us."

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No rent? That's...

Wait. No rent in exchange for keeping neat and protecting the place? Shit, he can do that in his sleep with his hands tied behind his back. Flashing Beth a look of complete surprise, he scratches his chin, then his head through that mop of hair. When he first got here he talked with that guy Tim about working security for the bar; it seemed like a good fit but Tim never got back to him and the more time passed, the less he felt like having some official job. Especially when he and Beth were traipsing around the solar system like they owned the place: it would have cramped their style.

But that was before Junior came along and now nothing sounds as good to him as a safe place that he can help protect. A whole host of questions come to mind: how many people live there, and how does it work, and what the hell does the rooms float about the underside mean, and what's it like inside.

And then there are the conditions Door laid out: no going into London Below, which is fine with him since he doesn't even know what London Below is, and no guests without permission. Hell, they've still got the whole bar if they want to socialize and he knows from watching Snow that she could come and go as much as she wanted through that painting. And that Bigby smoked so that's okay there, too.

Still, he's not going to speak for Beth on this one. While he's pretty damn sure safety's their mutual first concern, he won't put words into her mouth. Hell no: she's more than capable of coming up with her own.

"Beth?" His arm tightens just a little bit around her waist.

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Shifting Junior in her arms, Beth looks from Tom to Door and back again in obvious surprise. "You don't charge rent?"

Somehow it's almost the most foreign of all the things they've said.

"Well," she starts, turning her head for a moment to give Spike a look before she smiles outright, "I think that's a hell of a deal. Those conditions are pretty much the least we can do for the opportunity to live there rent-free."

She's not exactly sure she understands how the house works, but she's made far more impulsive decisions before with seemingly less good reason to.

"It sounds great."

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"Brilliant. We'll ready the rooms and then I'll key you all to the paintings- let's say tomorrow afternoon? Then you can move in at your leisure."

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A knocking on the door is followed by a blur of blue as Ingress hurries in. "Hi! Oh, good, I remembered the number right. Door, a rat came for you and said he had an urgent message."

Ingress hands Door the rat and waves at Beth, Beth Junior, and Spike.

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"Run along if you need to, darling," Tom says softly. "I know you've things to do. I can handle it from here, what with the keying charm and all."

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iopenthings

She tightens her lips at that last, but nods, holding the rat up in one hand and murmuring to it for a moment.

"Excuse me Beth, Spike," she says, each name accompanied by a quick nod, "But it seems I've some rather urgent affairs to attend to Below. Nothing terribly serious, Tom, but a few unhappy stockholders, if they have enough shares, cause problems for everyone."

She manages another smile at the House's new inhabitants.

"I am pleased to have you join us, though. New residents keep things lively."

And bring in business.

Then, having said her piece, Door turns and strides briskly out.

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"Yeah, thanks..." All these comings and goings: he's not used to it. Back on the Bebop they'd have the occasional bounty on-board, but that's about it. Of course, Faye went wherever she wanted whenever she wanted, and he might have been accused of doing just that, too, but he always had his reasons and they weren't the closest racetrack. Still, he glances from Door to the closing door to Ingress to Tom to Beth to Beth Junior, who's watching it all with wide-eyed disinterest for the most part. At least until Ingress shows up, and then she's all perky and shit, babbling and smiling and laughing.

"Hey, Ingress." He gives her a little wink, then makes the introductions. "Look, it's little Beth; we call her Beth Junior. Elizabeth Marie, meet Ingress. She's going to be your neighbor."

Ingress is pretty damn adorable for a kid, just as much now as she was the last time he saw her. "And this is the original Beth. Beth, this is Ingress. She's the one who taught me how to do the whole diaper thing way back when."

Girls: suddenly there are lots of girls and he's not used to that. Laughing, he steps aside so Ingress can see the baby and so he can stand just a little closer to Tom. "Thanks, and I mean it. I... kind of don't even know what to say, except I'll take care of the place and keep it safe. And if Ingress or... Gavroche, right? either of them or anyone else in your family ever want to learn self-defense, I can do that. Elaine can vouch for me as a teacher." He nods to his Beths and Ingress.

It's such a sweet sight.

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"I like your hair," Beth tells Ingress in a confidential tone, crouching down so the younger two can see each other better. "Blue's my favorite color."

Glancing up at Spike and Tom, she has to grin.

Despite never having seen this many people in her home at once before, Beth Junior's taking it pretty well. Giving Ingress the same kind of winning smile she gave Tom and Door earlier, she lets out an impressive gurgle.

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"Hi, baby Beth," says Ingress, taking Beth's smile as an invitation to come closer. "Is your daddy putting your diaper on the right way? I taught him how."

She waves at the baby and reaches out a finger for Beth Jr. to wrap her little hand around. "I like babies. I'm an official big sister for Amy's baby Susan. And I've held Anthony lots."

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Tom edges towards Spike as well. A 1950's chap knows when he's outnumbered. He whispers with a grin, "I recommend having a son next. It balances things out quite well."

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It's almost hard not to either laugh or cry, but he manages to just give a smug little grin instead. "Beth Junior... she's enough for now." He's not sure how much longer his contraceptive nanobots are going to be active -- time's been so fucked up for him -- but he's not in any big hurry to prove they're out of his system. No: no hurry for more kids.

"But I'll keep it in mind." Like you could go to the store and order the one you want or something. Life kind of doesn't work that way. "When you get a chance, could you explain how the whole portrait thing works? I never asked Snow and I've never been inside the House of Arch, but if I'm going to help keep it safe -- and I will, I'll defend it with my damn life -- I'd like to know what I'm working with and how some of the bad shit from the bar's made its way in there in the past. It'll help when I figure out the odds on the place."

It's not that he's distrustful. It's just that he's never seen a place that was so safe, so well-fortified, that it couldn't be broken into. And it'll be his job to try to find those holes and gaps and figure out how to keep shit from leaking in.

He takes it very seriously: it'll be his way of paying back for having rooms there, whatever they end up looking like. "But we could talk about that later, too. Look at them. Ingress is so good with babies."

It's beyond sweet and it will be good for little Beth to have other kids around. At least he thinks it will.

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"Let me see, how does one begin to explain the House of Arch? First of all, I'm not of the Underside originally, which is the world London Below exists within. The Underside is where people and things - trapped time, forgotten places - fall through the cracks from the world Above. Door's family is a family of Openers."

His voice drops slightly and he turns his back slightly to Ingress. "The Underside is a dangerous place. Several months before I met Door in Milliways, her parents and brother were ambushed and killed by hired assailants within the House itself. Ingress witnessed her mother's murder, and she was kidnapped and held prisoner for seven months. So when I say I wish to protect the House and all those within it, I have reason. I've more protective wards set upon it now than her family could ever have done, so it's a much safer place."

Then his voice returns to normal levels. "As for me, I'm from the Wizarding world of England, but from a time before Door's. I ended up in Milliways, met her, and my life changed. We've been together ever since. I aided her in opening the House to the patrons of the bar; it's my charm that allows people to pass to and fro. The paintings are magical, you see. They're like doors, but, well, not. So in your rooms, you'll have pictures of the different rooms you can access. To go through them, you simply place a hand on the painting and the charm pulls you through. I'll show you, don't worry."

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The low confidential tone is something he understands intimately; fortunately Ingress is so enchanted with Beth and the baby that she's not paying attention to stupid boring grownup talk. Hell, if he was five or whatever, he wouldn't be listening in either. So for now all he does is absorb the information, tucks it away. It's one of those things he can think about or not -- process or not -- in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep.

When he ought to be asleep.

But hell, not now: the hush-hush part of the conversation is over and the realization is dawning on him that people get back and forth inside the house too by painting and not by doors, and that's... well, shit, it's a hell of a relief. After what happened this summer, he won't miss holding his breath every damn time he reaches for a doorknob or every damn time Beth reaches for a doorknob. The House of Arch is separate from Milliways but tenuously joined, and that alone makes him feel a fuck of a lot better.

And Tom... he's some wizard or something and he does whatever it is that makes the place coexist with Milliways, and that's cool. Shit, he ought to be paying the guy to let them stay there. It's such an opportunity.

"Charms pull you through, huh? That's kind of fun. Hey, Beth." He turns to watch them: his Beth, little Beth, and Ingress who's been through some unspeakable shit but seems normal as anything -- Tom must be doing a good job with her -- and his shoulders relax. If Beth thinks his little magic tricks are good, she's going to fucking love this portrait shit. "You women need anything over there?"

Damn if he doesn't suddenly feel like they're part of this extended family. In all his years here, the only one he's felt that connected to before was Beth. It might be real nice to relax that and let a few more people in.

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By this time, Beth's made a point of assuring Ingress that Spike was taught well at the diaper-changing business and that she must be a great official big sister if she could give such good pointers.

And she only had to gently keep Junior from leading Ingress's finger straight into her waiting mouth one time. Only foiled for a moment, the baby sticks her own finger in her mouth instead.

With her attention divided, she's only caught bits and pieces of the conversation about the house itself, but Spike'll probably be able to tell her nearly word-for-word how things work.

"No, but I think there's a diaper change in my near future," she almost smirks, "unless you feel like demonstrating your skill."

And she doubts that, but before anything else, she shifts the baby in her arms and turns to Tom. "What does keying us to the paintings involve? Do we have to do anything?"

To say it's all new to her is a pretty serious understatement.

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"You needn't do a thing but stand before the painting in Milliways. I'll cast a charm that enables the magic in the painting to recognize you by your essential "you"-ness. You won't feel anything."

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"Some magic tickles, but it's a good tickle," Ingress reassures Spike and Beth.

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Ingress... she makes him laugh; the whole being sociable thing has its upside too. "You said tomorrow afternoon, right? We can do that: just let us know the time and we'll be there." For once he doesn't mind promising something for Beth and of course, Junior will be included in that; it wouldn't do to get passageway through without the baby. She's the whole reason they got invited, after all, or at least he's pretty damn sure of that.

Once they know Ingress better, he bets Beth will let her hold Beth Junior. But not right yet, not today.

"You... need anything else from us right now? Passports? Fingerprints? Keys to my spaceship? Just kidding." Really, he's still kind of overwhelmed by everything and he can't wait to talk to Beth about it. It's like someone dropped that golden ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory into their laps, and he's not going to overlook that. Not a chance in hell.

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"No, we don't need anything. I know it's rather odd to find yourself in a situation like this. In my experience, there is always an ulterior motive to any action. I assure you both - we have rooms we don't need, and we like being able to help people stuck here enjoy their lives in a comfortable home. Ingress, why don't you say goodbye for now. You can come back later, perhaps, or wait to visit when Beth and Spike have moved in."

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"Okay," she says, reluctantly leaving the baby. "Spike, maybe you can be one of my teachers once you move in. I like learning fighting stuff. Bye bye!"

She waves, taking Tom's hand as he reaches for the doorknob.

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Holding little Beth up so they're cheek-to-cheek, Beth grins and waves bye to Ingress.

Junior smells vaguely like baby powder, and she lets out one of the biggest yawns Beth thinks she's ever seen from her before.

Cradling the baby close, she straightens and takes a step closer to Spike.

"Well--" She has to be honest. "--I almost don't know what to tell you, Tom." But it's one time she feels absolutely certain she can speak for Spike, too. "But we appreciate this a lot."

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