(no subject)

[not_that_spike]

The cloak thing is... really getting old. He can do it and keep on doing it, but it lost its appeal after the first couple days. Hell, half the time they've been out here it's just been the seven of them: if Hero and Ciba and Natalya had known about him, this would have been a different kind of trip. He wouldn't trade being here for anything, that's not it. It's just weird being a ghost, for all intents and purposes. And now the stakes are changing. Ever since they got to within about fifty miles of New York City, there's been a fuck of a lot of travel in absolute silence. Even the kids seem to know how serious things are; he's got a renewed respect for the little guys, not that he ever lost respect for Beth Junior. It's just he never thought a whole lot of kids in general. Now that he's seen how keyed-in they are to their parents' -- in this case their mothers' -- moods, he's pretty impressed.

There's shit going on, though, and not just around them. Being this isolated has given him a lot of time for thinking, and most of the thinking he's been doing hasn't necessarily left him feeling all warm and happy. They're almost at the harbor; the plan is to get passage on a ship for Europe and make their way to Paris. That... won't be an easy trip. It isn't like he'll have the simple luxury of any time alone with Beth and Junior; they'll probably all be crammed in some small space together. It's just a thing they're going to have to get through, unless he decides to jump ship and leave here and the only way he's going to do that is if someone shoots him. Tempers are starting to flare, and he can't do anything about that.

But damn, does he love his woman. He loves Beth so much. He told her a long time ago he'd die for her, and he would. Still, he gets this sick little feeling in his throat every time he thinks about the potential meetup with Yorick. Beth and Junior, they're his family. He's the one who's been there; he's the one who loves them. Yorick doesn't even know about the baby.

So what happens when the guy finds out?

Yeah, it's going to be a long trip across the Atlantic. A long trip thinking a lot of thoughts he'd rather not.

More than anything, he'd like to find a single damn door leading them home, but... the universe hasn't been that kind. Deep down inside, he's got the feeling it doesn't like him very much.

But when the opportunity arises to have a few minutes alone with Beth and Junior, he grabs it. Ciba's off with Natalya talking about what happens to Vlad when they finally get to Russia and Hero's off scouting the path; Junior's being fed. He almost doesn't dare take off the cloak here, but it's private enough so he can risk it for just a couple minutes. No one will see him. Resting a hand on Beth's shoulder, he looks down into Junior's contented face. She's such a beautiful kid, even if she doesn't happen to look a whole lot like Beth.

She sure looks nothing like him.

"Hey, Marie. Marie Browning. I remember you."

What he wouldn't give for Europa right now. Every day a honeymoon: that's sure as hell been put to the test.

Comments

[stbethadettes]

Leaning back against a tree trunk with Junior in her arms, Beth aims a smile at him.

"A little over a year ago? Europa? I was just short of being the size of Texas?" Her smile widens. "Yeah, I remember you, too. Steve, right?"

She's tired. Little Beth has skipped her morning nap the last three mornings, and while that's caused her to take a longer nap in the afternoon, it's also seemed to make her fight sleep more at night.

Not only that, but the baby's curious. She wants to crawl places. She wants to reach for things... and then sometimes drop them and have somebody get them back to her. And Beth's trying to make sure she gets some solid food to try once a day in addition to the regular feedings.

She's not the only one who's tired, though, and she knows it.

Careful, she leans slightly into Spike, her face tilted up as if expecting a kiss.

[not_that_spike]

That's something he can do: kneeling by her side, he cups her face in his hands and gives her that kiss she looks like she wants and he knows he could stay like this and drown in her, drown in her touch, let it wash over him like waves, soothing and warm and cleansing, and the rest of the world will just go away and nothing else will matter but them and this most precious kiss.

And maybe because it's a stolen moment or maybe because he's still and always a creature of habit, he kisses her again and then a third time before letting his eyes close and resting his forehead against hers.

"Thought I'd never see you again, ma'am. I'm so glad I did. Even if we'll always have Europa." One hand moves to cradle the back of little Beth's head. Funny how a guy never thinks he'll go around missing a simple thing like touching the woman he loves, holding the daughter he loves. It's been over two and a half years since he first met Beth, comparing scars, sharing smokes. And in that two and a half years, through all the ups and downs, the one thing that's never wavered is his love for her. Funny how that works.

What he'd really like to do is ask her what's going to happen, as if she knows. But that's a discussion that they really can't have in five-minute intervals. It's almost better not to ask than to start it and not be able to finish.

"Just wanted to stop by to tell you I love you. Thought I'd get that out there in public before I have to disappear again." He thinks he liked it better when that was just a figure of speech. "Tell you you're beautiful. Tell you I want you. Tell you all the things I'd like to do if we were on Europa instead of here." They're not and there's nothing he can do about it, but hell, a guy can always dream.

He can also always make his woman smile: leaning over, he whispers a few choice words into her ear. She doesn't blush -- he hasn't ever really known her to do that -- but the suggestion makes him smile. Even if they can't do what he's hinting at, at least they can think about it.

Some day he won't have to be in hiding any more. Then they can really take advantage of time and circumstance. For now he'll have to be content with every little chance he gets.

[stbethadettes]

She's always thought he could probably read passages from the goddamn dictionary to her and get a reaction, but what he says so quietly into her ear is way more exciting than that.

It's a nice thought. It's more than a nice thought, but the realm of fantasy is certainly where it has to stay for now.

She's pretty confident, and for all the things that have happened to her in the last five years, she'd have to take some pride in the fact that she's fairly well-adjusted. She was never an amazon, she never went hungry, she never went so crazy with grief that she did anything she regrets, she's tried her best to help the people she could, she took the best care she possibly could of St. Bernadette's while she was living there.

She found a place at the end of the universe that was almost -- almost -- a sanctuary and then was presented with a guy who would do almost anything for her and a nearly perfect little place to live with him, a place even safer than the bar itself. And in her worry at the possibility of having a repeat performance of what happened last summer and getting stuck with Junior alone at St. Bernadette's, which was no longer as safe as it once was, she nearly gave it all up just to guarantee safer possibilities for herself and Junior.

Nearly gave it all up unintentionally, but the end result is the same. And if Spike hadn't been crafty as hell and gotten this cloak and followed Hero out, she'd be here without him.

If there's one thing that's been a bit of a downfall for her, it's guilt. And not guilt over everything: though she wouldn't dream of pinning any hopes and expectations on Yorick, she doesn't regret the night they spent together.

She doesn't regret her relationship with Spike.

She doesn't regret the sweet-faced baby girl in her arms.

It's been guilt over the plane crash and the lives she took with the intention of saving. Guilt over Spike getting trapped out here with her, even though she wasn't the one who ran the shed down in a tank. Guilt over not telling Hero, for both Spike's sake and Hero's.

In the first two instances, it's one of the worst kinds of guilt: the irrational kind, the kind that's deep and heartfelt and terrible but was nothing she really could've done anything about at the times that things went down.

The guilt she feels over not telling Hero about Spike is on a smaller scale because the logical part of her can acknowledge that any time you need to keep something secret -- and Spike does have to be kept secret -- the fewer people that know, the better. And they can't even tell Ciba and Natalya.

But it's a kind of guilt she can do something about, and if Spike had told her he needed her to let Hero know, she wouldn't have gone another night without doing it.

Some days she thinks she might do it anyway.

She lifts a hand to Spike's face, rests her palm against his cheekbone, her fingers curling in the hair behind his ear. "Next available opportunity, bounty hunter. Just you wait."

[not_that_spike]

"I'll hold you to that, Slim." He remembers the very first time they kissed, and how surprising it was to him. At the time he wasn't sure if he was dead or alive, but he found out pretty damn fast he was still alive, by whatever hand is in charge of complete fucking miracles: he should have died. He doesn't really remember the way he felt that first time after the whole deal with Vicious at Syndicate headquarters. All he remembers is white light and then being at the bar, but it couldn't have been some instantaneous thing. He still had his wounds from that battle, but they were healing. Sore and scarred, but not brand new. He was somewhere for at least a couple weeks while that happens, but he has no idea where.

Last summer when it all happened again, he remembers only too well exactly how he felt the night he stumbled -- literally -- back into the bar, the knife in his shoulder, his stomach cut wide open, arm splintered from a bullet, blood in his eyes, his leg gashed open at the knee. He shouldn't have lived that time either, and he wouldn't have if it wasn't for Elaine and the way she helped him right away. The way he used to tell people he'd been killed once before by a woman seems so cavalier in comparison: that wasn't death. It was... sleep. That last time, last summer? The only damn reason he had the willpower to survive was because of Beth and because of Junior. The little girl he used to call "him" because Beth was so convinced the baby was a boy. She needed that. She needed it to make sense of this world out here and he understood it then but he understands it even better now.

He's still glad Beth Junior's a girl. He can't imagine life without her, can hardly remember what it was like before she was born. But he does remember Beth, not quite the size of Texas -- more like the size of a baby beluga whale -- and the night she went into labor.

Thank fuck Hero was there.

Right here in this moment, his eyes dart to the north where Hero wandered off to, and to the south where Natalya took Ciba and Vlad. He doesn't hear any of them. He knows he's a mess: dirty and skinny as hell, hanging in there just barely some days, keeping up with them as silently as possible.

"Hey." These days, his voice sounds foreign to him. It's strange never hearing another male voice and yeah, he knows what a shock it will be when he ever does reveal himself. It's just... "Beth. If we're going to France by boat, you have to tell Hero I'm here. Not the others, but Hero has to know. I'm... not sure I can stay hidden without one other person knowing. Just thinking of the logistics."

It's one thing walking across the countryside; he can keep up. He can forage for himself. But in a small space on a boat with limited rations... "I've saved as much of the dried fruit and jerky and trail mix as I could. Lifted a few more things along the way. I just don't know if it will be enough."

Not to mention water: he can only carry so much of that, and he doubts some ship will take kindly to an invisible hand refilling some water bottle from a limited supply. Either that or he doesn't go, and not going is only going to happen over his dead body.

[stbethadettes]

Well, that settles that.

"You're sure?"

Of course he's sure. She looks down at little Beth, lets the baby's hand wrap around her finger.

"I'll tell her."

Tonight. She'll make it happen.

If there's ever been a real test of their relationship, this would have to be it. They've been able to get along in a bar, by a lake, in bed together, on trips for pleasure. They've made it through the appearance -- and disappearance -- of his dead ex-girlfriend, the one he apparently carried a torch for for so long, longer than she's known him, and they've made it through a pregnancy that managed to take both of them by surprise.

And somehow, most of those things seem small in comparison to having to live like this.

She's always admired and respected him. Right from the very start. But now, after being able to watch him carry on like this, she admires and respects him even more.

And she's still sorry he's had to do it.

[not_that_spike]

He's held out as long as possible, respecting Beth's wishes to keep his presence here secret. It makes sense, and if there was some fucking way to keep it up on the trip across the ocean, he'd do it. It's just that he doesn't see how it can work and it's too late now: he's already made his request known. She told him to let her know if he needed that, and he does. He needs it now.

"Hero... might be angry. We've been out here a long time. She might feel..." Fuck it: he doesn't know how Hero's going to feel and he won't put words in her mouth. "Never mind. If she is, though, blame me. Tell her it was my idea all along." He'd much rather take the heat for it than to set up a situation where Beth and Hero have to be at odds.

Reaching over again, he rests his hand on her cheek. They've come a fuck of a long way, him and Beth, on so many levels, and he loves her with every damn bit of his heart. Even the pieces of it that were broken and fragmented and set aside with a big Do Not Disturb label on them. The idea of another person being what completes anyone else is kind of absurd; he used to say that about Julia. That she was his other half, the piece of him that was missing. But she wasn't all of it, or hell, maybe she was for a while. Whatever the case was, he's a one-woman guy and Beth is the one woman.

He'd marry her right now if he could, stupid as the idea is.

"Whoa, Beth. Look at this." His hand plays with a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. Once it's tucked, he gives her a very significant, very private little smile. In his hand is one of those fortune-telling fish: he's had it the whole time he's been out here, but wanted to save it for just the perfect occasion.

This... is it.

He really wants to see her smile.

[stbethadettes]

She lets out a quiet laugh in spite of herself, but before she lets him distract her with the little cellophane fish -- it's bound to say the same thing it always does -- she has to say something.

"I know you're right. She might be angry. But I'm a big girl, Spike, and you know that by now." She smiles slightly. "If I'm finally going to tell her the truth about you being out here, I'm not going to prop it up on a lie."

Besides, it's not the only thing she's been untruthful to Hero about: she lied about what Yorick's letter said when they first met. And she made a point of getting rid of it when they left on their motorcycle courtesy of Sister Ober and the Swiss Guard squad.

The truth is that in those few minutes immediately after finding out Hero was an amazon, Yorick's letter might not have been enough to make her keep an open mind. In the long run, what Yorick asked her to do hasn't mattered a whole hell of a lot. He may be the one to thank for sending his sister her way, but after riding away from Sister Ober, they formed their friendship all on their own.

And she loves Hero. Beyond Junior and Spike, Hero means the most to her out here.

In other life, if she'd been in Beth Singular's position, she'd have been thrilled to get a kick-ass sister-in-law like Hero. As it is, she's glad they met. She'd glad Junior gets Hero for an aunt.

"Give me a sec." Still cradling Junior, she buttons the top of her shirt back up with one hand before holding that hand out for the fish and grinning at Spike. "All right, bounty hunter. Let me have it."

[not_that_spike]

"I had to offer." There was never any doubt in his mind that she'd wave that off, though.

He loves her; he'd do anything for her. He'd go to the ends of the world and back for her and in some ways he has. And he'd do it all over again.

It isn't clear to him exactly when love became the best motivating factor he's ever known, but it's sure as fuck exactly that now. If they were back home in their apartment he'd suggest she swap him Junior for the fortune teller fish, but out here he has no idea when either Hero or Natalya and Ciba will be back, and he needs to have his hands free to cover up again with the cloak just in case.

So once she's ready he hands over the fish without protest, but he does reach over and give his finger to Beth Junior. She shoots him a very sleepy grin and grabs on, her eyes closing: he kind of knows how she feels. Beth's arms are the best damn place in the universe for sleeping. He knows. He's tried sleeping in a hell of a lot of places with varying degrees of success but he's never once had trouble sleeping in her arms.

One of these days he'll be free to do that again. Hell, once Hero knows, she might even cut them some slack and give them a little time together: it's something worth hoping for.

But like he's never seen one of these little cellophane fish before, he looks over with great curiosity at Beth's palm, thinking come on, little fish, show us what you're made of. Go head over heels for me.

Like there's any real question about it at all. Still, his hand tightens on Junior's as he watches, a smile lighting his whole face.

[stbethadettes]

It's a matter of seconds until the ends of the fish curl up on her palm, and still grinning, she raises her eyebrows at Spike.

"How's that for a shocker?"

When she passes the fish back to him, she leans into him again and presses her lips to his.

She's not surprised at all.

[not_that_spike]

That's... really nice and being the opportunist he is, he wrings everything he can out of that kiss, makes it last as long as possible. He's been kind of starved for Beth, for her touch, for those private moments they used to share in abundance. But like she said earlier, next available opportunity. Once the kiss is done, he pulls back just a little and looks down at the fish curled up in his own palm.

"Hey. Beth Junior. Your mom's in love, and guess what? So am I. How 'bout that?" His voice is soft, though, because Junior's just about asleep and hell if he's going to be the one to disturb her. It's been such a kick watching her crawl, watching her taste solid foods for the first time, reaching for things, playing with them, listening to her babble when she has nothing better to do. Sometimes she even babbles herself to sleep and he likes when she does that. He likes it a lot.

She's not doing it now, though. She's fed and comfortable and warm and he never imagined he could love a little kid quite this much. Then again, he never imagined he could love a woman as much as he loves Beth. Even when he feels like an intruder on her world, he still loves her more than he's ever loved anyone.

Losing her would... well, it would really suck. "I can't imagine what it would be like if I hadn't followed Hero out the door that day, Beth. I probably would have lost it by now. Done something really stupid. And I know this has been hard but remember: as hard as it's been, I wouldn't trade it for anything. There's not a damn thing in the whole universe that means more to me than being with you and the baby. Don't ever doubt that."

He really doesn't think she doubts it for a second. As little Beth's grip on his finger loosens -- she's asleep now -- he steals one more kiss from his woman, or maybe he's just borrowing, not really stealing. Right now, he doesn't want to think about what's going to happen when they get to Paris... if they actually manage to meet up with Yorick there. What are the odds of finding one person in a sea of people? He knows what it was like trying to find Julia; that took more than three years.

No matter what happens, it's going to be interesting in ways he can't even imagine, so he gives up trying. Instead he's about to make some crack or other about the veracity of fortune-telling fish when he hears someone approaching.

Shit. He gives Beth a very apologetic shrug, then disappears into the safety of the cloak, moving quickly to Beth's other side. He sits near enough so he can reach out and touch her, reassure her he's there, but not so close that someone could stumble over him.

This... is hard. But it's still a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

[stbethadettes]

The sound of someone getting closer makes her slump as opposed to straighten, wanting to look like she's been hanging out right here with Junior for a while and has gotten as comfortable as possible. She can feel Spike to one side of her, and even after all this time, she's only partially gotten used to being able to feel him nearby without seeing him.

At first she's not sure who it is, but then it becomes obvious that the noise is coming from the direction Hero went off in. And then, sure enough, Hero comes along, back from checking things out up ahead.

She glances quickly down at the baby's sleeping face, then looks up at Hero and smiles as she approaches, patting the ground next to her -- on the side opposite Spike -- as if it's a prime seat. "Hey, you. Come sit with us."

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Taking the hat off, she sits heavily next to Beth. Her feet are fucking killing her -- stupid boots -- but at least for this little foray she didn't have to have the heavy goddamn pack on her back.

"Remember a while ago when I told you it seemed like there weren't so many fucking amazons any more?"

Resting her elbow on her knee, she makes a broad sweeping gesture; it's supposed to mean I was wrong... again. "I overheard this conversation a mile or two up the road. Something about some goddamn fight for control over the fucking harbor. Isn't that just great?" Her voice is low, though: she's not going to be the one to wake her little niece. She shakes her head once, twice, three times, and then looks over at the mamacita.

"Sorry. Had to get it out of my system. Looks like everything's quiet here, at least."

[stbethadettes]

"You're kidding."

Hero's definitely not kidding, and it's fucking unbelievable that after all this time there are still those damn amazons scattered around.

And fighting over the harbor. Great. She'd say she'd love to know what ridiculous reason they have for wanting the harbor, but reason only works on some of these chicks and she doesn't really care to know so long as this little group can make it through them.

Safely. All of them.

She's quiet for a moment, listening for Ciba and Natalya and Vlad but not hearing them nearby.

"Hero, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Especially if there's a threat of angry amazons at the harbor.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

Her first thought is that Beth doesn't want to go through with this: she doesn't want to go to Paris for any of a dozen reasons or more and they're probably all really good reasons. All it takes is one glance down at the sleeping baby in her arms to understand: she's a protective mama bear. If there are amazons, why on earth would she want to put Beth Junior in any kind of danger?

Maybe that's not it, though. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with that at all. After all, the information's barely had a chance to sink in and she gets the feeling Beth was going to talk to her about whatever this is no matter what she'd said when she sat back down.

"What is it?" Beth knows (or at least she hopes she knows) she can talk to her about anything under the whole goddamn sun.

Anything at all.

[stbethadettes]

She gently shifts Junior in her arms, buying herself just a second to gather her thoughts about where to start with this.

What she doesn't want to do is launch into it with something like I probably should've told you this before or I've been keeping something from you or anything like that. One of the worst case scenarios is that Hero would think she's been able to get back to the bar at some point -- or maybe even continuously -- all this time, and that's really not something she wants to make so much as flicker through Hero's mind. A way back to the bar, however temporary, is something she would've told Hero about pretty much immediately.

So she'll tell her the story.

"Do you remember the House of Arch?" Her voice, already pretty low, gets even quieter. "Sending messages by owls and moving from room to room by portrait and Tom and Door, the people responsible for it?"

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." She remembers it pretty fucking well: it's an awesome way of getting around and she still can't believe she walked into a goddamn portrait and ended up in Beth's apartment. "In fact, I sent a message to..."

She looks around warily, waits and listens for just a moment before continuing, but doesn't hear anything. Or anyone. She really doesn't want Natalya and Ciba stumbling in on this conversation; they'll think the pair of them are fucking lunatics if they hear them talking about getting around by portrait and sending messages by owl, or even a place called the House of Arch. Seeing as how the coast is clear, she continues very quietly.

"...to Spike last time I was there, but I guess he wasn't around to get it because I never saw him. Why?" She has no idea what this has to do with much of anything, especially not with amazons staking claim to New York's harbor. But she's all ears.

[stbethadettes]

She never saw him. The choice of words could almost be funny.

"Well, Tom was the owner of a cloak. A cloak that can..." Even after everything, this still manages to be one of the strangest conversations she's had, and she can't help glancing around again, looking for signs of life within listening range. But there are none yet. "...make the wearer invisible."

Junior smacks her lips in her sleep, her little hands balled up.

"And he loaned it to Spike."

She looks up at Hero again, knowing Hero is more than capable of putting two and two together and easily coming up with four.

"And when Spike saw you in the bar that day," she goes on anyway, "he was the opportunist he's always been."

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

"Wait."

This is as convoluted as one of Yorick's Knight Rider fanfics.

"But I didn't see him. I sent him a note. And I waited a while, and then I left, because it was time to go, and..."

Her expression shifts from confused to completely, utterly disgusted with herself: her head goes into her hands and she shakes her head. "Goddammit, this explains so much! All those times I couldn't get doors to close? All those times I felt like we were being followed and couldn't see anyone?"

Carefully, she peeks out from between her fingers: she still doesn't see anything. "So he followed me out that bar door, huh?" Even through the grid of her fingers, Beth can probably see her eyes narrowing. "And where is this goddamn opportunist of yours right now?"

Things are starting to make sense. If nothing else, she thought Beth was taking things pretty fucking well. Now she has an idea why.

[stbethadettes]

It's not lost on her that the expression on Hero's face is almost the same as the one she had after hearing the made-up contents of Yorick's letter back at St. Bernadette's.

In reply, Beth turns her head away from Hero and looks very pointedly at about where she thinks Spike's face would be if she could see it.

[not_that_spike]

For a minute he doesn't do anything; he's trying to gauge Hero's expression. But then Beth turns to him and what the hell, no time like the present. If it's weird for Beth to see just his face poking out from the top of the cloak it's going to be weird for Hero too, so he just takes the whole damn thing off, lets it drop.

What a fucking relief: he's more worn out than he's been willing to let on. He rests his arm around Beth's shoulder and gives Hero a little wave.

"Yo."

What else is he going to say? I've been following you for a couple months, how 'bout that? Maybe it would be better if he tells her not to worry, he hasn't been watching them dress and undress.

He... doesn't have much of a chance to say anything else, though, before Hero's on her feet.

Oops.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

"You goddamn sneak!" Before he can even say boo, she's over there, grabbing his hand, pulling him to his feet, wrapping her arms around him. "You fucker! I thought I was never going to see you again!"

He may be Beth's guy, but he's her niece's dad and that makes him family. There's also something else, though: this whole goddamn trip she's been doubting her sanity. It isn't just hearing Victoria; she knows how to deal with that. But she's been thinking maybe, just maybe, the whole thing about the bar's been nothing but a dream, a fantasy, something she made up. Yeah, she's got the pictures and yeah, she's got Santa Madre and Beth Junior here with her, but somewhere inside she's been wondering if the whole thing was just some weird hallucination.

Seeing Spike makes it all real. Painfully, wonderfully real. "You son of a bitch," she sobs against his shoulder. "Have you really been here the whole goddamn time?"

Of course he has. Of course he has: their way back got run over right after she got here. "That fucking cape." It might come in handy.

Especially for getting the babies past the amazons guarding the harbor.

[not_that_spike]

Whoa. If he'd known she was going to cry on him, he... well, hell, he would've done it exactly that way anyhow. Tentatively, he pats Hero's shoulder.

"Wasn't sure if you were going to kill me or not. I... well, it's like Beth said: I'm an opportunist. I didn't plan on staying. All I wanted to do was say hi to Beth and Junior, and when I got your note, I... just... kind of... acted." He doesn't tell her he'd had the pack ready and waiting, or about the dream the night or two before that made him decide to try to find a way, or about the discussions he had with Tom about how much being left behind sucked. Those are things he's hardly even discussed with Beth and he's not going to tell that shit to Hero before he talks it over with his own woman.

Moving back because he's still not real comfortable with being held by people he doesn't know that well, and besides, he needs to have his hands free in case he needs that cloak again, he tilts his head toward Beth.

"I don't know, Hero. I couldn't stay away. I've kind of been dying to help out. I... have kind of a lot of firepower with me. Let me know what I can do." He puts an arm around Beth's waist, careful not to disturb Junior. "Except I think we can't tell Natalya and Ciba I'm here. We both think that's for the best."

This is their world, not his. So what if he'd do things differently? The decision really isn't his to make.

[stbethadettes]

That reaction isn't quite what Beth expected but there's no doubt that it's a huge fucking relief, and when Spike's arm goes around her, she leans into him.

She'd give his hand a squeeze if not for the baby in her arms.

"Well, it sounds like you could get to put that firepower to use soon enough." He was sitting right here with them when Hero mentioned what she heard about the harbor. "You might get to meet some amazons after all."

Things have been going surprisingly smoothly, considering. They've been spared experiences with any amazons before now.

She still has the Barak buried in her bag, and while she hasn't had practice in a while, she's not afraid to use it if she needs to.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

This is still pretty goddamn unbelievable. "How..."

She stops, shaking her head, and tries again. "All this time. You were with us all this time, and you knew, mamacita, and you didn't say anything. How come?"

Maybe they were afraid she couldn't keep a secret, or maybe they thought she'd be pissed off and she is, a little bit, but only because they waited so long to tell her. "But you've been... how? Beth, how..."

A sharp noise pulls her attention away immediately; one hand goes out in a hush warning. But the sound passes and the furrow in her brow lessens. "I mean, I can see not telling Natalya and Ciba, especially if you didn't want to have to explain the whole bar-at-the-end-of-the-goddamn-universe thing. Sounds crazy enough. But you could have told me. I wasn't going to blow anyone's cover. Shit, I could have babysat more or something."

The notion of something as normal as babysitting makes her laugh, though. It's hard to stay stern when your best friend in the whole world -- the one who you thought had lost her guy forever -- suddenly has him again.

It almost gives her a little bit of hope.

[stbethadettes]

She smiles an apology.

"No offense, Hero, but I just thought it would be smarter not to tell a soul. This is..."

Kind of one of the scenarios she used to consider worst-case: Spike's stuck here. He's safe from the plague, whether it's thanks to the nanobots or not, but now there's the threat of amazons. And if something happened to him, it'd be fucking unbearable. It'd be worse than knowing he's (relatively) safe back at the bar and House of Arch.

"It sucks."

It's complicated. Maybe a Spike-style understatement is the best way she can hope to get it across.

"If nobody knew, it'd be harder for it to get out."

[not_that_spike]

"Look. We've made it work. We have a system. I have ways of letting Beth know where I am even when she can't see me. I knew all those stealth lessons would come in handy some day." He manages a tired grin. "But when it comes to getting overseas, we... couldn't see how to make it work. Not without you knowing. It's one thing out in the open, but in an enclosed space... hell, you might've tripped over me or something. I don't know what the ship will be like. I just know we kind of can't let a whole ship full of women know they've got some guy from Mars stowed away with them, right? Not if I want to stay alive, and I sure as hell didn't come all this way to die."

His hand nestles against the back of Beth's neck, playing a little with her hair. "But... I'll be a real good secret weapon if there are amazons blocking the way at the harbor. They won't even know what hit them." Not that he can do any hand-to-hand combat under the cloak, but still, if he has to shoot at anyone to protect this family of theirs, he won't hesitate. And they'll never even see it coming.

"And look at this, Hero." Reaching down, he picks up the cloak and wraps it around himself and Beth and Junior. His voice rings out from nowhere. "We've only tried it with the three of us, but this thing... it's magic. I don't know how many people can fit under here. It's bound to come in handy."

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

She pretty much stopped believing in any kind of magic at all the minute Joe died in her arms; she's spent the years in between then and now hardening herself to all the fucked-up things life likes to throw at the unsuspecting masses. But the second she sees Beth and Junior and Spike just disappear in front of her eyes...

There's magic and then there's magic. Her dog of a brother spent most of his days back when they were growing up doing that goddamn dime-store variety of magic: levitating, getting out of handcuffs, pulling shit out of hats. This is magic on a whole different level.

Little Beth hiccuping softly in her sleep is the only thing that gives away their location. Reaching out, she fishes blindly for where she thinks they must be, meeting only air.

"That's fucking unreal. Take it off again. I want to look at it."

[stbethadettes]

They can see her just fine, and it's kind of entertaining to watch Hero look for them, reach out and swat at the air where she thinks they are.

Beth has to grin.

If she ever sees Tom again, she's going to give him both a hell of a hard time and a big goddamn kiss on the cheek for enabling the opportunist in her life.

When Spike uncovers them, she takes a step away, still watchful and listening for Ciba and Natalya or anyone one else who might be around and very gently rocks Junior from side to side as Hero takes a look at the cloak.

She's done it before. The curiosity was too much, and it's an amazing thing. Just looking at you'd never guess it could do what it does.

[not_that_spike]

Free from the constraints of the cloak, he takes advantage: stretches, runs his hands through his hair, rolls his neck from side to side until he hears that telltale satisfying pop. It's such a relief to be out from under there every single time. Some day he won't have to wear it but until then... he'll cherish every moment he's got, both covered and uncovered.

He smooths down the creases on Beth Junior's forehead and presses a kiss of his own to the top of her head, just because he can... and then he turns his attention to Hero, who looks like she's giving the cloak the third degree. He can't blame her in the least.

But he also can't let her take all the time she wants with it: he knows from long months of experience that when Natalya and Ciba go off, they don't usually stay away for very long.

"One of these days, Hero, you can play with that cloak all you want. But right now you need to give it back. I think I hear someone." He's not just making that up out of some misguided sense of insecurity, either; he definitely hears distant soft voices. It might not be Ciba and Natalya but it doesn't matter; he needs to be covered up. Reaching down, he grabs his backpack, kisses Beth quickly on the lips, and holds his hand out for the cloak.

He almost feels like he ought to apologize for everything, but the only thing he's actually sorry about is not being able to have just that much more time with Beth.

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

This thing's fucking incredible: it weighs almost nothing, feels like the smoothest silk, but it's magic. She'd like to put it on and sneak around just like Spike's been doing since they lost their way back to the bar, but seeing as how she's not stupid about the need for urgency, she hands it over and watches Spike just disappear into nothing.

"One of these days, mamacita, you're going to have to tell me about how you guys have done it. How you know where he is and all that. When we're alone... and that means just the two of us." She says that last bit for Spike's benefit; there's a lot she doesn't necessarily want to talk about in front of him.

There's probably a lot he's overheard that she wouldn't have shared. That ought to bother her a lot more than it does right now. But at the moment, she's just so goddamn glad she didn't make up the bar and everything that happened there.

In the meantime, though, she just nods to Beth. "Good for you, though. I'm really -- and I mean really -- happy for you guys."

And not a little jealous, too, but there's not much point in getting into that.

[stbethadettes]

She half-smiles.

"Don't worry. By now he knows how to safely get lost without really getting lost."

She's never had anything specific she felt like she had to keep from him, but she's always wanted him to know things because she wants him to know them and not because she's under his scrutiny -- not that he's actually scrutinizing her -- 24 hours a day.

It's been one of those things that they've had to figure out how to live with and she knows Spike would give her some time to talk to Hero alone if she ever asked -- and she trusts him to do it even though she can't see to know for certain -- but there's no way to firmly resolve it with things as they are. It's just pretty much impossible with the way things are right now.

Of course, if Hero's worried about Spike spying on them in their underwear, well, he's not some damn pervert. He's a good guy -- the former hit man with a conscience -- and the only eyeful he's gotten has been from her.

Purposefully.

Sure enough, she can hear the voices getting closer. And that's definitely Natalya's brand of English.

"C'mon, Auntie Hero. Can you give me a hand with getting Junior back into her backpack?"

[no-real-hero.livejournal.com]

"You bet your ass I can." She takes the still-sleeping baby, runs a worn finger across her little cheek, then settles her into the pack. As she moves back she feels an invisible hand grabbing and squeezing hers just for a second; she almost smiles.

And there, now that she's looking for it, she notices the way Beth's hand curls around something unseen: it's good. It's all good.

If his goddamn world of theirs ever rights itself again and finds the need for a little escapism, there's a hell of a story in this. So what if she thought sci-fi and fantasy were never meant to be her genre?

"Guess I ought to fill Natalya and Ciba in on the situation at the harbor. Then we'll figure out how to go about getting to Paris... finally."

It's been a long, long trip and they're not even halfway there. The only thing she knows with any certainty is that no one, but no one's going to get left behind.