not_that_spike | (no subject)

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The cloak thing is... really getting old. He can do it and keep on doing it, but it lost its appeal after the first couple days. Hell, half the time they've been out here it's just been the seven of them: if Hero and Ciba and Natalya had known about him, this would have been a different kind of trip. He wouldn't trade being here for anything, that's not it. It's just weird being a ghost, for all intents and purposes. And now the stakes are changing. Ever since they got to within about fifty miles of New York City, there's been a fuck of a lot of travel in absolute silence. Even the kids seem to know how serious things are; he's got a renewed respect for the little guys, not that he ever lost respect for Beth Junior. It's just he never thought a whole lot of kids in general. Now that he's seen how keyed-in they are to their parents' -- in this case their mothers' -- moods, he's pretty impressed.

There's shit going on, though, and not just around them. Being this isolated has given him a lot of time for thinking, and most of the thinking he's been doing hasn't necessarily left him feeling all warm and happy. They're almost at the harbor; the plan is to get passage on a ship for Europe and make their way to Paris. That... won't be an easy trip. It isn't like he'll have the simple luxury of any time alone with Beth and Junior; they'll probably all be crammed in some small space together. It's just a thing they're going to have to get through, unless he decides to jump ship and leave here and the only way he's going to do that is if someone shoots him. Tempers are starting to flare, and he can't do anything about that.

But damn, does he love his woman. He loves Beth so much. He told her a long time ago he'd die for her, and he would. Still, he gets this sick little feeling in his throat every time he thinks about the potential meetup with Yorick. Beth and Junior, they're his family. He's the one who's been there; he's the one who loves them. Yorick doesn't even know about the baby.

So what happens when the guy finds out?

Yeah, it's going to be a long trip across the Atlantic. A long trip thinking a lot of thoughts he'd rather not.

More than anything, he'd like to find a single damn door leading them home, but... the universe hasn't been that kind. Deep down inside, he's got the feeling it doesn't like him very much.

But when the opportunity arises to have a few minutes alone with Beth and Junior, he grabs it. Ciba's off with Natalya talking about what happens to Vlad when they finally get to Russia and Hero's off scouting the path; Junior's being fed. He almost doesn't dare take off the cloak here, but it's private enough so he can risk it for just a couple minutes. No one will see him. Resting a hand on Beth's shoulder, he looks down into Junior's contented face. She's such a beautiful kid, even if she doesn't happen to look a whole lot like Beth.

She sure looks nothing like him.

"Hey, Marie. Marie Browning. I remember you."

What he wouldn't give for Europa right now. Every day a honeymoon: that's sure as hell been put to the test.

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It's not lost on her that the expression on Hero's face is almost the same as the one she had after hearing the made-up contents of Yorick's letter back at St. Bernadette's.

In reply, Beth turns her head away from Hero and looks very pointedly at about where she thinks Spike's face would be if she could see it.

For a minute he doesn't do anything; he's trying to gauge Hero's expression. But then Beth turns to him and what the hell, no time like the present. If it's weird for Beth to see just his face poking out from the top of the cloak it's going to be weird for Hero too, so he just takes the whole damn thing off, lets it drop.

What a fucking relief: he's more worn out than he's been willing to let on. He rests his arm around Beth's shoulder and gives Hero a little wave.

"Yo."

What else is he going to say? I've been following you for a couple months, how 'bout that? Maybe it would be better if he tells her not to worry, he hasn't been watching them dress and undress.

He... doesn't have much of a chance to say anything else, though, before Hero's on her feet.

Oops.

"You goddamn sneak!" Before he can even say boo, she's over there, grabbing his hand, pulling him to his feet, wrapping her arms around him. "You fucker! I thought I was never going to see you again!"

He may be Beth's guy, but he's her niece's dad and that makes him family. There's also something else, though: this whole goddamn trip she's been doubting her sanity. It isn't just hearing Victoria; she knows how to deal with that. But she's been thinking maybe, just maybe, the whole thing about the bar's been nothing but a dream, a fantasy, something she made up. Yeah, she's got the pictures and yeah, she's got Santa Madre and Beth Junior here with her, but somewhere inside she's been wondering if the whole thing was just some weird hallucination.

Seeing Spike makes it all real. Painfully, wonderfully real. "You son of a bitch," she sobs against his shoulder. "Have you really been here the whole goddamn time?"

Of course he has. Of course he has: their way back got run over right after she got here. "That fucking cape." It might come in handy.

Especially for getting the babies past the amazons guarding the harbor.

Whoa. If he'd known she was going to cry on him, he... well, hell, he would've done it exactly that way anyhow. Tentatively, he pats Hero's shoulder.

"Wasn't sure if you were going to kill me or not. I... well, it's like Beth said: I'm an opportunist. I didn't plan on staying. All I wanted to do was say hi to Beth and Junior, and when I got your note, I... just... kind of... acted." He doesn't tell her he'd had the pack ready and waiting, or about the dream the night or two before that made him decide to try to find a way, or about the discussions he had with Tom about how much being left behind sucked. Those are things he's hardly even discussed with Beth and he's not going to tell that shit to Hero before he talks it over with his own woman.

Moving back because he's still not real comfortable with being held by people he doesn't know that well, and besides, he needs to have his hands free in case he needs that cloak again, he tilts his head toward Beth.

"I don't know, Hero. I couldn't stay away. I've kind of been dying to help out. I... have kind of a lot of firepower with me. Let me know what I can do." He puts an arm around Beth's waist, careful not to disturb Junior. "Except I think we can't tell Natalya and Ciba I'm here. We both think that's for the best."

This is their world, not his. So what if he'd do things differently? The decision really isn't his to make.

That reaction isn't quite what Beth expected but there's no doubt that it's a huge fucking relief, and when Spike's arm goes around her, she leans into him.

She'd give his hand a squeeze if not for the baby in her arms.

"Well, it sounds like you could get to put that firepower to use soon enough." He was sitting right here with them when Hero mentioned what she heard about the harbor. "You might get to meet some amazons after all."

Things have been going surprisingly smoothly, considering. They've been spared experiences with any amazons before now.

She still has the Barak buried in her bag, and while she hasn't had practice in a while, she's not afraid to use it if she needs to.

This is still pretty goddamn unbelievable. "How..."

She stops, shaking her head, and tries again. "All this time. You were with us all this time, and you knew, mamacita, and you didn't say anything. How come?"

Maybe they were afraid she couldn't keep a secret, or maybe they thought she'd be pissed off and she is, a little bit, but only because they waited so long to tell her. "But you've been... how? Beth, how..."

A sharp noise pulls her attention away immediately; one hand goes out in a hush warning. But the sound passes and the furrow in her brow lessens. "I mean, I can see not telling Natalya and Ciba, especially if you didn't want to have to explain the whole bar-at-the-end-of-the-goddamn-universe thing. Sounds crazy enough. But you could have told me. I wasn't going to blow anyone's cover. Shit, I could have babysat more or something."

The notion of something as normal as babysitting makes her laugh, though. It's hard to stay stern when your best friend in the whole world -- the one who you thought had lost her guy forever -- suddenly has him again.

It almost gives her a little bit of hope.

She smiles an apology.

"No offense, Hero, but I just thought it would be smarter not to tell a soul. This is..."

Kind of one of the scenarios she used to consider worst-case: Spike's stuck here. He's safe from the plague, whether it's thanks to the nanobots or not, but now there's the threat of amazons. And if something happened to him, it'd be fucking unbearable. It'd be worse than knowing he's (relatively) safe back at the bar and House of Arch.

"It sucks."

It's complicated. Maybe a Spike-style understatement is the best way she can hope to get it across.

"If nobody knew, it'd be harder for it to get out."

"Look. We've made it work. We have a system. I have ways of letting Beth know where I am even when she can't see me. I knew all those stealth lessons would come in handy some day." He manages a tired grin. "But when it comes to getting overseas, we... couldn't see how to make it work. Not without you knowing. It's one thing out in the open, but in an enclosed space... hell, you might've tripped over me or something. I don't know what the ship will be like. I just know we kind of can't let a whole ship full of women know they've got some guy from Mars stowed away with them, right? Not if I want to stay alive, and I sure as hell didn't come all this way to die."

His hand nestles against the back of Beth's neck, playing a little with her hair. "But... I'll be a real good secret weapon if there are amazons blocking the way at the harbor. They won't even know what hit them." Not that he can do any hand-to-hand combat under the cloak, but still, if he has to shoot at anyone to protect this family of theirs, he won't hesitate. And they'll never even see it coming.

"And look at this, Hero." Reaching down, he picks up the cloak and wraps it around himself and Beth and Junior. His voice rings out from nowhere. "We've only tried it with the three of us, but this thing... it's magic. I don't know how many people can fit under here. It's bound to come in handy."

She pretty much stopped believing in any kind of magic at all the minute Joe died in her arms; she's spent the years in between then and now hardening herself to all the fucked-up things life likes to throw at the unsuspecting masses. But the second she sees Beth and Junior and Spike just disappear in front of her eyes...

There's magic and then there's magic. Her dog of a brother spent most of his days back when they were growing up doing that goddamn dime-store variety of magic: levitating, getting out of handcuffs, pulling shit out of hats. This is magic on a whole different level.

Little Beth hiccuping softly in her sleep is the only thing that gives away their location. Reaching out, she fishes blindly for where she thinks they must be, meeting only air.

"That's fucking unreal. Take it off again. I want to look at it."

They can see her just fine, and it's kind of entertaining to watch Hero look for them, reach out and swat at the air where she thinks they are.

Beth has to grin.

If she ever sees Tom again, she's going to give him both a hell of a hard time and a big goddamn kiss on the cheek for enabling the opportunist in her life.

When Spike uncovers them, she takes a step away, still watchful and listening for Ciba and Natalya or anyone one else who might be around and very gently rocks Junior from side to side as Hero takes a look at the cloak.

She's done it before. The curiosity was too much, and it's an amazing thing. Just looking at you'd never guess it could do what it does.

Free from the constraints of the cloak, he takes advantage: stretches, runs his hands through his hair, rolls his neck from side to side until he hears that telltale satisfying pop. It's such a relief to be out from under there every single time. Some day he won't have to wear it but until then... he'll cherish every moment he's got, both covered and uncovered.

He smooths down the creases on Beth Junior's forehead and presses a kiss of his own to the top of her head, just because he can... and then he turns his attention to Hero, who looks like she's giving the cloak the third degree. He can't blame her in the least.

But he also can't let her take all the time she wants with it: he knows from long months of experience that when Natalya and Ciba go off, they don't usually stay away for very long.

"One of these days, Hero, you can play with that cloak all you want. But right now you need to give it back. I think I hear someone." He's not just making that up out of some misguided sense of insecurity, either; he definitely hears distant soft voices. It might not be Ciba and Natalya but it doesn't matter; he needs to be covered up. Reaching down, he grabs his backpack, kisses Beth quickly on the lips, and holds his hand out for the cloak.

He almost feels like he ought to apologize for everything, but the only thing he's actually sorry about is not being able to have just that much more time with Beth.

This thing's fucking incredible: it weighs almost nothing, feels like the smoothest silk, but it's magic. She'd like to put it on and sneak around just like Spike's been doing since they lost their way back to the bar, but seeing as how she's not stupid about the need for urgency, she hands it over and watches Spike just disappear into nothing.

"One of these days, mamacita, you're going to have to tell me about how you guys have done it. How you know where he is and all that. When we're alone... and that means just the two of us." She says that last bit for Spike's benefit; there's a lot she doesn't necessarily want to talk about in front of him.

There's probably a lot he's overheard that she wouldn't have shared. That ought to bother her a lot more than it does right now. But at the moment, she's just so goddamn glad she didn't make up the bar and everything that happened there.

In the meantime, though, she just nods to Beth. "Good for you, though. I'm really -- and I mean really -- happy for you guys."

And not a little jealous, too, but there's not much point in getting into that.

She half-smiles.

"Don't worry. By now he knows how to safely get lost without really getting lost."

She's never had anything specific she felt like she had to keep from him, but she's always wanted him to know things because she wants him to know them and not because she's under his scrutiny -- not that he's actually scrutinizing her -- 24 hours a day.

It's been one of those things that they've had to figure out how to live with and she knows Spike would give her some time to talk to Hero alone if she ever asked -- and she trusts him to do it even though she can't see to know for certain -- but there's no way to firmly resolve it with things as they are. It's just pretty much impossible with the way things are right now.

Of course, if Hero's worried about Spike spying on them in their underwear, well, he's not some damn pervert. He's a good guy -- the former hit man with a conscience -- and the only eyeful he's gotten has been from her.

Purposefully.

Sure enough, she can hear the voices getting closer. And that's definitely Natalya's brand of English.

"C'mon, Auntie Hero. Can you give me a hand with getting Junior back into her backpack?"

"You bet your ass I can." She takes the still-sleeping baby, runs a worn finger across her little cheek, then settles her into the pack. As she moves back she feels an invisible hand grabbing and squeezing hers just for a second; she almost smiles.

And there, now that she's looking for it, she notices the way Beth's hand curls around something unseen: it's good. It's all good.

If his goddamn world of theirs ever rights itself again and finds the need for a little escapism, there's a hell of a story in this. So what if she thought sci-fi and fantasy were never meant to be her genre?

"Guess I ought to fill Natalya and Ciba in on the situation at the harbor. Then we'll figure out how to go about getting to Paris... finally."

It's been a long, long trip and they're not even halfway there. The only thing she knows with any certainty is that no one, but no one's going to get left behind.

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