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Nov. 27th, 2004 06:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
not_that_spikeBeth's reading.
She's just sitting on the edge of the bed over there, reading, and I can't remember ever just watching someone read before like this. From a position of decadent comfort.
I like how she puts her fingertip to her lips before she turns the page. Not every page, but once in a while. It's an absent-minded sweet move and she's not paying attention to me. She's reading what I wrote, about traveling to Venus, and it's sweet.
That's a phrase she uses on me sometimes. Spike, you're sweet. I'm not, really. I don't know if I've been sweet a day in my adult life. But if she thinks I am, I can be. I like it. I like being sweet for Beth. I have something I want to do for her, for a surprise. But it will have to wait just a little while longer.
Learning how to work around being Bound here has been a good exercise. I always liked a challenge. I always manage to work things out, one way or another.
She's just sitting on the edge of the bed over there, reading, and I can't remember ever just watching someone read before like this. From a position of decadent comfort.
I like how she puts her fingertip to her lips before she turns the page. Not every page, but once in a while. It's an absent-minded sweet move and she's not paying attention to me. She's reading what I wrote, about traveling to Venus, and it's sweet.
That's a phrase she uses on me sometimes. Spike, you're sweet. I'm not, really. I don't know if I've been sweet a day in my adult life. But if she thinks I am, I can be. I like it. I like being sweet for Beth. I have something I want to do for her, for a surprise. But it will have to wait just a little while longer.
Learning how to work around being Bound here has been a good exercise. I always liked a challenge. I always manage to work things out, one way or another.
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Date: 2004-11-30 10:57 am (UTC)Besides, it's always difficult for her to think about anything else when his fingertips trace over her scar like that.
She smiles knowingly between kisses. "Who doesn't like lust? It's much more enjoyable than the other sins."
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Date: 2004-11-30 09:00 pm (UTC)He runs his thumb over her cheekbone one more time, then kisses the tip of her nose. "I'm just glad I'm not one of them. So far as sins go, it doesn't seem quite on a par with some of the others."
Spike walks to the window and pulls back the shade. Today it's a view not unlike that from the window in the bar: the universe being unmade. It's huge and strong and roiling and bleak... or vast and endless and strangely beautiful. It gives a sense of time and as valid a sense of timelessness. There are balls of light, electric in nature, shooting off sparks into the multidimensional, multicolored darkness. He studies the view for a moment, then closes the shade again and turns back to Beth.
He might have something significant to say, but then again, he might not. He simply holds out his hand to her, though: not because he has any plan, but because it's what springs to mind.
He would take her to the stars, if only he could.
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Date: 2004-11-30 09:32 pm (UTC)She follows him with her eyes as he walks to the window and opens the shade. Propping her chin on her hand, she gazes past him and through the window at the destruction of the universe. No, the end of the universe. She finds herself not wanting to think of it as destruction, even if it's the truth; the view is beautiful and destruction seems so negative a word for it.
When Spike holds out his hand, she just takes it. No overanalysis necessary.
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Date: 2004-11-30 09:50 pm (UTC)And maybe in a sense they are. Maybe it's one of those philosophical moments everyone has to have: not a nihilist type thing and not really existentialist either. Somewhere in between or somewhere different: all of the universe in one moment and in many moments simultaneously, and maybe in this piece of it they are the only man and woman. Maybe lust and temptation and other sins will play a part, or maybe that part already got written a long time ago and doesn't matter any more. And maybe in this version there is no such thing as a sin, or a deadly sin. Maybe it's just all brand-new.
Or maybe it's just all brand-new to him. Who knows?
Talk about overanalysis.
Beth's hand is in his and that's what he wants right now. Just to hold her. And he remembers her talking about a picture of Todd's mother and how they looked a little bit similar, and he thinks: Beth, you sure as hell don't remind me of anyone's mom.
And for that I'll give blessings.
Her hand is warm and she's vibrant, and they're here together in this room. She doesn't seem like she'd rather be anywhere else and he knows there's nowhere he'd rather be.
"I grew up on Mars; I got used to seeing two moons every night. By the time I was born Earth's moon was already half-destroyed. But I have to tell you: a full moonrise on Earth -- at least in my time -- is still kind of spectacular."
He's not sure why he's telling her this now, but the why of it isn't important. There's so much he wants to share with her.
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Date: 2004-11-30 11:29 pm (UTC)"You should see it the way I've seen it," she says automatically. Even if it wouldn't be nearly as amazing as what he's used to seeing.
Beth has watched the sun set and the moon rise behind St. Bernadette's many times over the past two years. She's glad to hear him say that it's still kind of spectacular in his time. "I like it best when the moon looks big and full and bright orange," she offers. She knows that color is usually due to dust or pollution in the air, but she still likes the way it looks.
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Date: 2004-12-01 01:26 am (UTC)He wonders if he told her about the hypergate explosion that wiped out both the planet and its moon; he's not sure. There have been a lot of stories and there are still more to go.
And here they are on an asteroid, and for all he knows, this could be some planet's moon. "Hey, Beth. You ever play that game when you were little when you looked up at the stars and wondered if there was some other Beth out there on some other planet looking up at the stars wondering if there was some other Beth out there looking up at the stars wondering the same thing?" He bets it wasn't so different from growing up on Mars, except there was no dome. Earth had enough oxygen.
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Date: 2004-12-01 02:56 am (UTC)"Not exactly," she answers his question. "I used to wonder if there was life on other planets. Little girls like me, or unlike me, out there and wondering the same thing I was. But not really other Beths."
She absently moves her free hand to her nose, two fingertips resting there lightly, but she doesn't scratch. "When I was really young, I also thought that God was some being floating out there among the stars and keeping tabs on us. And that he and Santa Claus had some kind of deal about keeping track of who was naughty and who was nice." Her smile widens behind her hand.
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Date: 2004-12-01 03:14 am (UTC)He reaches out and moves her hand and kisses that smile he likes so well.
"If all the universe from now on was just you and me and nobody else, I don't think I'd have any regrets." She might, but he wouldn't. Not at all.
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Date: 2004-12-01 03:49 am (UTC)She tries not to look pleased. She doesn't succeed.
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Date: 2004-12-01 04:00 am (UTC)Well, shit. There's nothing else to do, nothing else at all, other than to take his hands and put them on either side of her smile and kiss her and then wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. For a moment he rocks her back and forth, back and forth.
"I have a confession to make." He doesn't let go of her at all, and it's not an ominous statement, just something he's thinking. "I didn't know that love made people this happy. I thought it only brought its own kind of desperation. This is so different."
And I love you.
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Date: 2004-12-01 04:28 am (UTC)"Love is funny like that," she agrees, speaking quietly against his shoulder. "Terrible and wonderful, desperate and happy."
She falls silent for a moment.
"I'm glad that you're happy."
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Date: 2004-12-01 04:34 am (UTC)He thinks it's a fair enough question.
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Date: 2004-12-01 04:41 am (UTC)"Very."
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Date: 2004-12-01 04:58 am (UTC)"So." He speaks quietly. "Once there was a girl named Elizabeth, Beth for short, and she was the most beautiful girl on the whole asteroid. And I know that for sure because there was a contest and everyone voted her most beautiful. Only she didn't know about it, because she was too busy being nice to everyone and taking pictures of honeysuckle flowers in the greenhouse. And there was this one guy who was only there because he had no place else to be, 'cause he'd finished what he needed to do on Mars. And the most beautiful girl on the asteroid came over to him and took him away with her, and the guy knew he couldn't have been luckier if he'd tried."
His voice, low and steady, continues. He's still holding Beth close. "And even though the guy never expected it, Beth picked him, of all people, to share herself with. And so the lucky guy decided no matter what, he wasn't going to fuck things up. He was going to make it work."
Spike kisses Beth on the forehead and looks into her eyes. "And the only other part of the story anyone knows is that they both looked really, really happy. Neither of them were perfect people, but they were perfect for each other."
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Date: 2004-12-01 05:15 am (UTC)She stops biting her lip at the end. "Have I told you how much I like your stories?"
She's pretty sure she has.
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Date: 2004-12-01 05:25 am (UTC)Have I told you how much I like being with you? holding you close? falling asleep next to you? waking up and seeing you first thing, before anything else? the way your body feels next to mine? Have I told you those things enough? I've sure as hell thought them.
"I think you have. But I always like hearing it."
He can feel the beating of her heart.
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Date: 2004-12-01 05:49 am (UTC)"I like your stories. I like the ones about the people you've known, the ones about the places you've been, and the ones you just make up on the spur of the moment." Just like that last one.
She looks at his eyes, those mismatched eyes, and smiles at him. It's not a huge smile and she doesn't show teeth, but it's immensely satisfied.
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Date: 2004-12-01 06:01 am (UTC)And he kisses just below her jaw, off to one side, and presses his body against hers, and has no need at the moment for more words.